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What Every Parent Should Know for an Emotionally Happy Child

March 27, 20235 min read

There are a lot of parenting styles to choose from but no matter what, all parents just want their child to be happy, right? Well, you’ll be glad to know that you can help support your child’s emotional health from the moment they are born. 

Babies are born into this world equipped to regulate their emotional and mental states. It actually can take up to a full year for an infant to develop the part of their nervous system that would allow them the flexibility needed to self-soothe and self-regulate.

During this pivotal time, parents and carers can do a whole lot to support babies and children.

Here are my top parenting tips to support your child’s nervous system and what you can do to develop an emotionally happy wee human!

The Vagus Nerve: How It Plays A Role

Your child’s nervous system development should be a priority. The vagus nerve is vital for the function of your body, including speech, digestion, heart rate, and how you react to situations. 

There are two branches to the vagus nerve, one being the primitive dorsal branch that is formed as a fetus and the other being the ventral branch which develops in the third trimester of pregnancy and throughout the first year of life.

The ventral branch is the one that help us regulate emotional states and controls how we interact with the world.

The vagus nerve is 80% afferent- which simply means that 80% of the information it sends is from the body to the brain.

When in a stimulated state, the message that this nerve sends back to the brain is one of safety which deactivates a brain structure called the amygdala, the ‘threat centre’, and allows access to your prefrontal cortex, so you can think positively, analyse, plan and socialise.

As babies though, because both the ventral branch of the vagus and the prefrontal cortexes are not fully developed, they have limited ability to regulate their emotions.

Direct Help Parents and Carers Can Provide

When caring for a newborn, you should help support the development of your baby's nervous system by stimulating their ventral vagus! 

Here are he best methods to help your child have a regulated nervous system. 

Touch

There is a reason why skin-to-skin contact is so highly suggested as soon as the baby enters the world. Physical contact between parents and their baby sends calming signals directly to the baby's brain. 

Holding your baby directly on your skin should be done as consistently as possible. 

Face

You can signal safety through your facial expressions. Have you ever smiled after seeing somebody else smile? This is because humans have what’s called “mirror neurons” - mirroring someone’s expression impacts our feelings and emotions. 

By using positive interaction through your facial expressions, your baby can recognise signals of safety.

Tone of voice

Using a calming, soft tone of voice is set to make your baby feel relaxed and secure.

When doing this, you stimulate the ventral branch which contracts the strapedius muscle, a tiny muscle in your inner ear that adjusts your ear drum,  which changes the way your baby or child processes sound and relaxes her.

When we’re in safe and social mode, our earring gets more attuned to human voices.

Food

The vagus nerve has over 100,000 nerve endings that reside in the gut. This is often known as the “gut brain” and has recently seen increased popularity in the world of science and psychology  as more and more evidence suggests how it can influence our emotional and mental state. 

When your baby starts eating solids, the food that you give them will affect their gut bacteria and simultaneously affect their serotonin levels as 80% of that ‘happy hormone’ is made within the gut. 

Introducing fermented food such as yoghurt and  foods that are rich in tryptophan such as chicken, fish and egg whites will help build and support their gut bacteria.


What we can do for an emotionally happy child

Regulate Your Own Nervous System

You have likely entered a room and picked up on somebody’s mood, without them even saying anything.

Humans have the ability to tune into each other’s energy electromagnetically as well as physically.

Through extensive research at theHeartMath Institute, we know that our emotions affect how our heart beats and the patterns that it makes. Through the vagus nerve, the heart communicates to the brain to signal either threat or safety.

That activity is then broadcasted around your electromagnetic field, allowing those around you to pick up on your “vibe.”

Studies have shown that your heartbeat can actually influence another person. This is known as “entertainment”.


That is why it is so vital for mothers, fathers and caregivers to be aware of and control their mental state and know how to regulate your nervous system. 

If you’re in a state of fight, flight or freeze, your face and heart will communicate that. Therefore your baby would be triggered into the same response that matches your own.

There are many ways to regulate your nervous system and reduce stress including meditation, yoga and breathwork. 

Working to keep yourself in a calm state is important. There are simple breathing techniques that can help you do this, which I teach in my workshops and programmes.

As your child grows, teaching them calming strategies with intentional deep breaths will help them experience this feeling and be able to self soothe. This can be particularly useful at bedtime to allow their  nervous system to be in safe and social mode to be able to fall asleep. 

In summary…

The development and stimulation of the ventral branch of the vagus nerve is critical to your baby's emotional development and regulating your baby’s emotions. 

Parents and carers can work towards fostering their babies' safe and social mode by being aware of their own mental and emotional states and actively self-regulate, giving their child healthy food, signalling safety, and close physical contact.

By doing these things consistently, your baby will cultivate a happy and safe emotional state and will be equipped to deal with emotional and mental challenges.

But just before you go, I want you to know this: it does not matter whatever age your child is, or YOU ARE.

It’s never too late to practise and do this type of work.

Your brain is very malleable and you have the ability to “retune” your nervous system!

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Virginie Ferguson

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